I often visit with my friends about the journey of womanhood. Where we’ve been, where we are and how we’ve arrived at some of the places in our lives. A common denominator is the sting of overwhelm that most of us have felt, but usually don’t talk about. As women, we are challenged with the heroines of our childhood, both fictional and non-fictional, who’ve made it look easy. They swoop down in their beautifully fitted body suits, brightly colored capes and high heeled boots, with every hair in place and their makeup unflawed, as they tackle the villains of the day and fight the obstacles that attempt to stand in their path along the way. It’s an amazing scene, but one that I have not been able to live up to after many years of trying!
When I think about the things that pull me into the lulls of lack, I am failing to recognize that I’m there because I miss the realization of what it took to make it to that place. Let me explain; when I was a young new mommy working my way through the day to day tests of motherhood, my daughter would sometimes have these massive diaper explosions, where remnants of the disaster would ooze onto her usually soft pink or pastel colored outfit. I remember the feeling of utter disbelief as her small face would look up at me as if to ask “what now, Mommy?” Along with the second expression of the same question peering from my husbands’ eyeglass covered, brow raised gaze. The truth is, I waited for my out of body experience, where I would watch in amazement as this quintessential version of me would rise up confidently without pause, and save the day with her superfast diaper changing skills and extra outfit (that of course she had tucked away for emergencies) in hand, scoop up my precious baby girl, rush off to the ladies room and return moments later as if she’d just stepped away to powder her nose. This never happened. I quickly realized that my fantasy would never be my reality. That my out of body experience was a dream that would be put on pause until after the other six hundred and fifty two things were completed – or at least attempted – so that I could retreat to my bed for a few hours of sleep and continue my dream of the adventures of the woman that I waited for anxiously to snatch my body. What I didn’t recognize was the outstanding job that I had done to make it to that point of the day. I mean, I’d actually made it out of the house with my little person while not forgetting the other necessities for the outing. She was clean, prior to the explosion, and so was I! We’d actually accomplished a great feat to make it out of our house, and that simply was enough. But in that moment, I couldn’t see any victories.
After four decades of living, with nearly two of those spent as a wife and a mother trying to measure up to who I thought were the Wonder Women of life, I’ve finally found my own recipe for seeing success in myself!
Don’t Beat Yourself Up! I am not perfect and it’s not personal, even if it is. I don’t set out each day to make myself look bad, perform mediocre or fall short in my day to day tasks. My plan is always to get what I have to do done, but sometimes things are tossed my way that throw me off. It’s not personal if I forget to do something – it’s a reminder that I’m not perfect and that’s ok, because I will always strive to do my best.
Girlfriend, you’ve got this!
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the importance of your brand and that its true value is held in its core, the substance. Now, while that still holds absolutely true, I don’t want you to think you can ignore the visual elements of your brand. The visual elements are the details that triggers the consumers’ interest. Did you know that appearances or first impressions really do matter? It is the #1 element that initially determines a perception of you and your business. Our unconscious mind starts from whatever objective data is available (such as your appearance & first impressions) and then works to shape a more complete picture we consciously perceive. You see, as humans, we process images 60,000 times faster than we do words. We are able to recall images quicker and faster than we do words. Appearances & first impressions has the ability to make or break your business. You’ve heard the phrase, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression”, right? Well, it’s absolutely true!
With this information in mind, you can’t ignore the power of the visual branding elements. What are visual branding elements? They include, but not limited to your logo, business card, attire, grooming, website, brochures, social media platforms, landing page, professional photo, packaging of products, book cover, media kit, speaker reel, audios & videos. These examples represent a “peek inside your business window”. Before a consumer decides to inquire or to learn more about you or your business, they will take a “peek” inside your business window. What will they see? Will the appearance of these items trigger interest or not?
Make the right first impression by taking the branding aspect of your business very serious. Do the research. Hire a branding agency, if warranted. Don’t rush through the process.
You only get one chance! WOW your consumer from start to finish! KJ is the owner & Master Brand Expert of KJ Strategy Design Studio with over 25 years of experience, with numerous awards, accolades & nominations for her work, including being named as one of the Top 25 Purpose Driven Women to Watch, one of the Top Sales Trainers, awarded & honored at the annual Making History in Heels for her contribution to the community as a woman-owned business, just to name a few. She is a trainer/speaker, helping faith-based women owned businesses, educational institutes (educators, student-athletes & students) to understand how a strong personal brand breeds a positive culture of diversity, creating exponential results & profit. Book her to speak at your school, conference or event and/or for a free-30-minute Brand Discovery Chat.
You’ve heard the old saying, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”. And while the human mind will forever initially do just that (which is why appearance and your presence should look great), it’s the substance that will determine the ultimate value of your brand. Now, don’t misunderstand, our worth is determined by God; however, if you’re not committed and dedicated to doing the work, you are not able to inspire, impact, influence & leave a positive imprint on the minds and hearts of those you encounter.
Too many times, our focus and time is spent on the exterior: a sexy logo, a beautifully designed website, top notched business card, best looking banner, gorgeous social media feeds and even our personal exterior of makeup, attire, shoes & accessories. But, upon closer review, the substance of what is being delivered is not up to par. Too many times, we are super excited to launch a product or service that the time, research, planning & adequate funds needed are not applied to the process. The product or service would actually be the solution needed to solve a major problem, but because the due diligence and process was seen as a “waste of time” and/or too long, it was rushed or totally eliminated and now the end result doesn’t hold any value.
Remember, the magic is in the process! Spend time in your prayer closet to better understand how God wants you to proceed. Research, research & research. Understand your targeted market’s needs. Understand the market/industry. Develop a marketing strategy. Map it out. Determine costs. Conduct a beta-test. Complete an analysis. These are just some of the steps and work you should be conducting before launching. Once the “main course” is cooked, you can now begin setting the table. You now are ready to send out invitations requesting the presence of others to an intimate, well-cooked and scrumptious meal in a brand-tastic atmosphere.
KJ is the owner & Master Brand Expert of KJ Strategy Design Studio with over 25 years of experience, with numerous awards, accolades & nominations for her work, including being named as one of the Top 25 Purpose Driven Women to Watch, one of the Top Sales Trainers, awarded & honored at the annual Making History in Heels for her contribution to the community as a woman-owned business, just to name a few. She is a trainer/speaker, helping faith-based women owned businesses, educational institutes (educators & students) to understand how a strong personal brand breeds a positive culture of diversity, creating exponential results & profit. Book her to speak at your school and/or for a free-30-minute Brand Discovery Chat.
I remember when my daughter was younger, I would come home and tell her Mommy needs an hour for me time. I have always believed in "Me Time" but ask me did I do it consistently? No, I didn't, but now...
As women we have so much to do and so little time to do everything. Have you ever felt like your world was caving in on you? You know that feeling, can't concentrate, not organized, emotional, and so on and so on. This happens when we don't have me time to regroup and get restored. I know you are probably thinking what does she know about my workload or my family, you're right I don't but what I do know is if you don't start allowing me time in your life your career, your family, and your dreams will falter and or fail, it's called life burnout.
Me time is nothing but making sure you take care of you. You may be asking well how do I take care of myself? It starts with designated a time every day to do whatever relaxes you.
Me time is nothing but making sure you take care of you. You may be asking well how do I take care of myself?
Tonya is a speaker and Henri Award nominated author. Tonya is the CEO and founder of Godsdiva, LLC and The Worth Within Project, her company vision is to teach women about their worth through speaking engagements and workshops. If you would like to book Tonya please visit www.godsdivallc.com.