Don't believe the hype! Playing nicey-nice may not get you too far. You have done all of that and what do you have to show for it? You played by "the rules" and where did that get you? Women are still overworked, underpaid, and left out. Women are still not receiving the equities they should. Not in pay, not in professional opportunities, or funding for their business endeavors.
We have shown up as the status quo has deemed proper and appropriate for women in the workplace. The traditional norms that have been placed for women have been adhered to, doing what has been historically expected of them in an effort to "make it" , to still come up short, despite all the effort put forth.
We resisted being assertive because we would be characterized as aggressive instead. We held back and didn't speak up about things we didn't agree with for fear of being labeled a trouble maker. We didn't expose our talents and let our light shine because we didn't want to make anyone else feel insecure and inferior. We didn't point out discrepancies or challenge decisions because retaliation was sure to happen. We didn't complain about our salary because we didn't want to make it worse for ourselves, hoping that our bosses would finally recognize our worth and give us the raise we deserve. We believed that complaining was not worth it because it wouldn't get us anywhere.
Women have been doing all of those things, and more, for years. We have been told since childhood to be "nice girls". We have been conditioned to play nice and be nice, because that's what good girls do. Good girls listen. Good girls follow the rules. Good girls don't cause trouble or rock the boat. Good girls let the boys take the lead and be in control. I get what the intent was at that age but unfortunately, it carried over through the different stages of life and we have been held to that mantra, even when it was not in our best interest. Not only have women shaped their lives around those beliefs but many men still have those expectations. This is what has caused women to be the losing team almost forever.
Unfortunately, being nice and playing by all of those old, biased rules will not always get women what they want and deserve. Women need to confident and comfortable enough to play hard, just like the guys do when they want to win.
We have to show some grit to get what we want. It's time to get rowdy. No more playing nice!
There comes a time when we need to make the decision to not sit by and leave our fate in the hands of those who have systemically held us back for decades. That time is now.
I'm tired of playing nice. Aren't you? It's time for us to really start winning!
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